Tough Times Holidays

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Tough Times Holidays

5 Practical Steps from the New Science of Happiness to help enjoy the Holidays in Tough Times

The holiday season can be a stressful time under the best of circumstances, but in economic tough times Holidays can seem even more challenging. In times of hardship and loss we need the spiritual lift that the holidays can give us more than ever. The new science of happiness, can help by identifying what makes us really happy and what we think will make us happy and doesn’t.

Happy People at Christmas Time

The good news for hard economic times is that studies consistently show that money does not make us happy. Once people have enough money to meet their basic needs for food and shelter, they report about the same levels of happiness and life satisfaction overall no matter how much money they have. So if your wallet is a little thinner, take heart. You can be just as happy spending less on the holidays.

There is more good news. What does consistently make us happy is a rich social network of friends and family, appreciation and gratitude for the things we have, practicing virtue, and doing things that interest us and absorb our attention fully. Luckily, the spirit of the Holidays is all about family and friends, gratitude, appreciation, virtue, and joy!

Here are 5 practical steps you can take, based on scientific research, to be happier during tough times holidays and holidays in good times too.

1 Reset Expectations

A lot of stress and anxiety at holiday time comes from unrealistic expectations. These unrealistic expectations are often easy to spot when we take the time to examine them. For example, when our thinking includes a lot of should, it is often a sign of unrealistically high expectations. There are lots of ways to understand and reset our expectations. Many people find writing their thoughts in a journal is helpful. Some use guided imagery or focused meditation, and some people get in touch with their own thoughts by talking to a friend. What ever approach you use to get in touch with your own expectations, there is no question setting your expectations for happy holidays will improve your mood and your experience during tough times holidays.

2 Focus on People not Things

Study after study shows that people are social animals and feel best when they have lots of positive interactions with others. Yet, during the holidays, it’s easy to get caught up in the presents and busy schedules and so forget to spend quality time with loved ones. Remember to spend time with people during the Holidays. Reach out to others by showing a sincere interest in them, or appreciating something about them with a compliment. Even reaching out to others with just a smile can improve how you feel.

3 Be Good and Do Good

Science shows us that virtue really is its own reward. When we are kind, forgiving, wise, or appreciate beauty, we feel better. We are often romantically attracted to other people who we see doing good or being virtuous. Scientists have identified 24 virtues that are universal across all major religions and cultures and research has found that practicing any one of them gives us an emotional boost. In this season of love and light, what better way to improve your tough times holidays than to be good and do good for others?

4 Have Fun, Find Flow

People describe their peak experiences as being in the zone, being completely absorbed in what they are doing. It turns out that we all have this kind of experience when we do things we are good at, that challenge us, and provide us with clear feedback. Scientists call this state Flow. Many people find flow when playing games. The game score provides instant feedback for the challenge and the exhilaration of mastery. So instead of a gift exchange, play a game or sing songs. You’ll be happier for it and might just have a peak experience during your tough times holidays.

5 Express Gratitude/Appreciation

Many scientists and philosophers believe that appreciation and gratitude are the top pathways to happiness. Rhonda Byrne, in the Secret, says What you appreciate, appreciates. As you appreciate your happiness in tough times, you start to grow your happiness. One way to increase gratitude is to make a list of all the things you are grateful for. Force yourself to list 100 things. Or, find at least ten things every day that you are grateful for or are proud of. Start a gratitude jar and add one more thing to be grateful for every day.

In his book, Stumbling on Happiness, Dr. Gilbert explains that most of what we think will make us happy does not. It is possible to have happy tough times holidays by focusing on what really makes us happy and not what we think should make us happy. As an added bonus, the effort just might turn those tough times around!