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Book Reviews: Love Messages
Love MessagesHow to let your love flow by speaking the right love language
Almost all romantic comedies are based on crossed up messages. In real life, crossed messages do not always have a happy ending. Your love messages must be received for your partner or loved one to hear them. That means you need to speak their language—love language that is. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Love Languages, How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, has identified five different ways we express and feel loved. All of us have one dominant love style and it is the primary way we feel love from others. Often, we learn these styles from our parents. Sometimes marriages fail because the couple communicates in all love styles during the beginning, then settles in to their dominant style after the wedding. If those styles are different, it is as if the couple spoke completely different languages. They can not see the love the other has. The five love languages are: 1. Words of Affirmation While I love you. may be the first love words of affirmation that come to mind, these are certainly not the only ones. Any words that build the other person up emotionally are affirming. Compliments, appreciation, thanks for deeds done or gifts received all work as words of affirmation for your love messages. 2. Quality Time Quality
time is giving someone your undivided attention. Perhaps you
stare deeply into each other's eyes, or do something you both enjoy
together, or just sit and talk. Quality time is not watching TV or
movies together because here, the screen is the focus of attention, not
your loved one.
3. Receiving Gifts In almost every culture, the giving and receiving
of gifts is
associated with love and marriage. To a person who feels love by
receiving gifts, the most important factor is a visible reminder of
love, not so much the cost of the gift. In times of crisis, physical
presence is a powerful gift and an important love message.
4. Acts of Service Acts of
service are those things we do to take care of the people we
love. Traditionally they include things like cooking or cleaning or
maintaining the house. Sometimes we reject this love language because
it seems too traditional or we are afraid of being taken for granted,
but if this is the primary love language for your loved one, then it is
as potent as any aphrodisiac in expressing love.
5. Physical Touch Physical
touch is important to all human beings. Studies have shown
that babies that do not get enough physical contact do not develop
emotionally. Although sex is a part of expressing love through physical
touch, it is not the only part, hugging, caressing, massaging, kissing,
and holding hands are all expressions of a loving physical touch.
When you know how to send and recieve love messages, you can experience the joy of true love more of the time. Let your love flow by expressing love in the right love language for your loved one to hear, or see, or feel. Other great books by Dr. Gary Chapman include:
1) How to Be Happy
2) How to Have Better Relationships and More of Them
3) Happiness Science
4) How to Develop Happy Habits
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