Love MessagesHow to let your love flow by speaking the right love language
Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Love Languages, How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, has identified five different ways we express and feel loved. All of us have one dominant love style and it is the primary way we feel love from others. Often, we learn these styles from our parents. Sometimes marriages fail because the couple communicates in all love styles during the beginning, then settles in to their dominant style after the wedding. If those styles are different, it is as if the couple spoke completely different languages. They can not see the love the other has. The five love languages are: 1. Words of AffirmationWhile I love you. may be the first love words of affirmation that come to mind, these are certainly not the only ones. Any words that build the other person up emotionally are affirming. Compliments, appreciation, thanks for deeds done or gifts received all work as words of affirmation.2. Quality TimeQuality time is giving someone your undivided attention. Perhaps you stare deeply into each other's eyes, or do something you both enjoy together, or just sit and talk. Quality time is not watching TV or movies together because here, the screen is the focus of attention, not your loved one.3. Receiving GiftsIn almost every culture, the giving and receiving of gifts is associated with love and marriage. To a person who feels love by receiving gifts, the most important factor is a visible reminder of love, not so much the cost of the gift. In times of crisis, physical presence is a powerful gift.4. Acts of ServiceActs of service are those things we do to take care of the people we love. Traditionally they include things like cooking or cleaning or maintaining the house. Sometimes we reject this love language because it seems too traditional or we are afraid of being taken for granted, but if this is the primary love language for your loved one, then it is as potent as any aphrodisiac in expressing love.5. Physical TouchPhysical touch is important to all human beings. Studies have shown that babies that do not get enough physical contact do not develop emotionally. Although sex is a part of expressing love through physical touch, it is not the only part, hugging, caressing, massaging, kissing, and holding hands are all expressions of a loving physical touch.Love messages must be received in order to work. Let your love flow by expressing love in the right love language for your loved one to hear, or see, or feel. When you do, you can have Valentine's Day all year long. Return to the How To section from Love Messages For more advice on how to give and recieve love see Where is the Love? Try our Tools and Tips for a happy life
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