July 08, 2009
Show Interest and Appreciation of Others To Be Loved
Like most good advice, this is much easier to say than it is to do. How to love and be loveable, that is the question. Benjamin Franklin, another of the United States Founding Fathers, was a master at this. He suggested that the best way to make a friend was to ask someone for help. That is exactly how he started his relationship with Thomas Jefferson, by asking to borrow a book.
Although there are many manuals on romantic love, there are very few general manuals on how to make and keep friends. The one classic exception is the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. He outlines 31 human relations principals that really work. Two principals that I have found make a person most lovable are: (a) Show sincere interest in other people, and (b) Show sincere appreciation of others. This can be as simple as a short conversation in an elevator like Do you have plans for the weekend, or what a great tie, was it a gift? Or, it could be as profound as taking the time to really listen and respond when you ask your spouse or kids about their day.
Another way to show interest and appreciation in others comes from noticing the loving things that they do for you. In the book,
The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman describes the different ways that people express their love. Only one of them is verbal. Noticing when people show us love and expressing our appreciation not only makes us more lovable, but helps us notice that we are lovable.
Show Interest and Appreciation of Others To Be Loved
Affirmation
I notice people everyday and express my interest in them and appreciation of their strengths.
Journal or Meditation Question
Who are the interesting people around me? How can I express my interest and my appreciation of their strengths, virtues, accomplishments, and features?