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Happy Life Tip of the Week, Issue #120- Turn Off Fear
July 13, 2011


Turn off fear and unleash creativity to overcome challenges and live a happy life.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself --
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes
needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Hello Friends,

Have you ever made a situation worse by preparing for a danger that never happened? Have you ever stayed in a bad relationship or job, or clung to a bad habit because you were afraid? At one time or another, most of us have.

Sometimes our positive thinking keeps us trapped. We desperately cling to the small positives and deny the massive negatives. Our fears become so intense that we are afraid to see them or name them. Fear of despair forces us into denial and both fear and denial keep us from the action that could eliminate the need for both.

Fear is an important emotion because it signals danger and potential pain. The key to healthy fear is to heed the alarm, then find and take the correct action to avoid the danger and pain.

If you find yourself paralyzed by fear, or regularly overcompensating for your fears, try these five steps to turn off fear and turn on the optimistic and creative forces that help you identify just the right actions to take.
1) Breathe
Fear triggers our fight-or-flight mechanism which can easily escalate to panic or a super narrow focus that makes it hard to see options. Calm this biologic reaction with deep, even breathing into the abdomen. If you are in immediate danger, move to safety first.
2) Open Your Awareness
Fear narrows our focus and can keep us from seeing solutions. All obstacles seem bigger in the dark, so turn on the light by seeking more information about your situation.
3) Focus on what you want
Our subconscious minds will draw us towards what we focus on. Like driving through the cones in road construction, look at the road, not the cones. Focus on what you want, not what you are afraid of.
4) Ask yourself, How could I get there?, generate options
Only start looking for solutions after you are calmer and focused on where you want. When you do start looking for solutions, take the time to generate options. The more ideas you generate, the more likely you are to have a good one. This is the step where your creativity starts ot flow.
5) Take Action
Nothing calms fear and worry as much as taking action. Keep your focus open and wide and look for evidence that your action is making a positive difference. If it is not, make an adjustment and keep moving towards your goal.


If your fears are more sustained, you might need to look deeper. This is often the case with bad habits or changes in relationships or careers. If you find yourself in this situation, I recommend the Hardline Self Help Handbook. This book provides simple, effective exercises to positively and lovingly guide you through the identification of your deepest fears and the action to alleviate them. Or, try these tips to give yourself a little shot of happiness or silliness to open up your creative thinking processes before choosing your actions to take you out of fear. If your fears are related to unemployment, you might also benefit from this article series on coping with job loss.

The essence of optimism and happiness is not a blind focus on the positive and denial of the negative, it is the confidence to take control of your future by choosing the actions that are most likely to result in the best future for you. Choose happiness when you-

Turn off fear and unleash creativity to overcome challenges and live a happy life.



Affirmation
I notice and acknowledge my fears, then take action to avoid the negative consequences I fear.

Journal or Meditation Question
Are there any areas of my life where fear of one thing is driving me to a worse result? Are there any areas where I struggle to take action? What options do I have to avoid the things I fear in a healthy way?

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