Forgive yourself and others to set yourself free from reliving your mistakes.

I have heard that the things that bother us most about other people are often the things we are doing ourselves, but do not want to admit. When I looked at the situation this way, I found that I was blaming my coworker for making me lose my temper. He should know better. He should have been smarter than that. He should not have judged without having all the facts. And then it hit me- and neither should I. I needed to forgive myself and my coworker and move on.

This is often easier said than done. Forgiveness takes love and character and a willingness to admit that I was wrong too, to accept myself and others as imperfect but still valuable and loveable. We all make mistakes and we cannot learn from those mistakes until we get past appointing blame and get back to focusing on what is really important. When I hear myself talking about what should have been, I realize that I am not seeing people and situations as they are, but judging them against an artificial standard that should be in place. Unfortunately, the standard others should meet often only exists in my mind.

When I focus in on the injury and the problem, I am more likely to hold grudges and place blame. When I am forgiving, I shift my focus to what is most important to me and to the solution for getting there. Often my relationship with the person who has injured me is more important than the injury. To get back into that relationship, I focus on their good qualities until that is what I see most. When I do this, I make it easier for us both to learn from our mistakes and move on.

Forgive yourself and others to set yourself free from reliving your mistakes.

To Subscribe