March 31, 2010
Practice tolerance of others to protect yourself from hate and anger for a happy life.
Dalai Lama
Scientists believe that happiness plays a positive role in the evolution of human beings by attracting us to other people and to opportunities to cooperate and work together. Conversely, anger occurs when we are hurt or afraid of being hurt and it signals us to fight or flee. There are many opportunities for us to feel hurts and slights- from someone being inconsiderate in a public place to huge social injustice. The effects of the resulting anger and stress can be devastating to our health and happiness and, worse yet, it does nothing to help us address the underlying cause. Only we are harmed, not the "others" causing the stress.
We can ignore our feelings of hurt and anger by distracting ourselves with pleasure or relaxation, and there is a place for this in our happy lives. Or, we can practice skills that reduce our tendency to feel slighted or hurt by other's actions- tolerance. Like many of the habits of mind that lead to a happy life, tolerance is a skill that improves with practice.
How do we develop or practice tolerance? In every case, it requires us to notice and change our unconscious thought patterns. When confronted with rudeness, I might think- that person is having a hard day, or they do not know any better. Sometimes, I remind myself that people think differently than me and that diversity in thought and culture is a good thing. Sometimes I think of them as children- innocent of malice.
I have always found these Dalai Lama quotes helpful in inspiring tolerance. The movie, Happy Go Lucky also shows some wonderful examples of how to behave with tolerance in difficult situations, or The Tale of Despereaux provides a more fanciful view.
However you decide to go,…
Practice tolerance of others to protect yourself from hate and anger for a happy life.
Affirmation
I look at anger as an opportunity to practice tolerance of others who are different or who may not mean me harm.
Journal or Meditation Question
Where have I carried anger or hatred of another in a situation where tolerance may have served me better? When has my anger prevented me from making a situation better? Where I have chosen to stay angry rather than tolerate or forgive another?
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