December 15, 2010
Give the gift of peaceful family gatherings -
let someone else be right.
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Hello Friends,
In a survey by Vital Smarts, 85% of respondents stated that their family holiday gatherings include at least one heated argument where a valued relationship suffers. Although the argument damages the relationship, the subject of the argument is often not that significant.
People like to be right. They particularly like to be right in front of other people they care about, like family or close friends at a family gathering. No matter how significant or insignificant the topic, the need to be right can become overpowering and can hijack a conversation into an angry, hurtful argument.
You can help assure peaceful family gatherings by simply letting others be right- even if you believe what they are saying is wrong. Not every error needs to be corrected or truth be told at that moment in time. Simply let it pass. As Maya Angelou says, people will remember how you make them feel long after they forget whether you were right or wrong. You can have the satisfaction of knowing you are right on two counts- being right about the point you would have made and being right about not making it in favor of the relationship.
Dale Carnegie, in his famous work, How to Win Friends and Influence People concurs. One of his 21 Rules of Leadership is Never argue. If you absolutely must disagree with someone, do it respectfully by first acknowledging the truth or rightness of what the other person said first and couching your own statements as your opinion or as a possible alternate way of thinking- NOT an absolute truth in conflict with every other truth.
Whether you choose to let something pass or to disagree respectfully, remember good relationships are one of the most important factors in a happy life. You can:
Give the gift of peaceful family gatherings -
let someone else be right.
Give the right gift to express your love and improve happiness this year with the Happy Life U Holiday Gift Guide.
Affirmation
I understand the importance of good relationships. I keep my relationships healthy by letting other people be right.
Journal or Meditation Question
When might I have damaged a relationship with someone I loved or respected by arguing over something? How might I handle that differently? What am I willing to let pass in conversation in order to help other people feel better with me?
To Subscribe