Take care of your own emotional needs first for the triple gift of happiness.

My ideal is to spread happiness, gratitude, and appreciation. In that moment, it took considerable energy to back away from my own criticism and rise to my own standards. I would like to say that I pictured peace and loving kindness then found something good about my critic. But it did not happen that way. At that moment, my motivation was all about me and being the kind of person I want to be.

My next step was to think about what I needed and wanted in my relationship with my critic- who happened to be my customer at work. I need to feel good about myself and I need my skills to be recognized and appreciated at my job. As soon as I started asking myself how to meet those needs, I found compassion for my critic. I could see that he was worried about his future and needed to look good for his new manager. He needed reassurance in a time of stress. When my brain realized that I could easily give him what he really wanted and get what I needed, it was easy for me to picture loving kindness and to find something to appreciate about him.

Negative emotions play a vital role in our healthy living. They let us know when something we need or want may be threatened. When we take the time to make sure our emotional needs are met, it is often easier to be generous with others. Joy is open to anyone at any time and studies consistently show that the happiest people are the ones who have all their basic needs met. Sacrificing yourself is not generally the way to happiness. Good self care is a triple gift. You get the joy of giving to someone, the joy of receiving, and the strength you need to give away even more.

Take care of your own emotional needs first for the triple gift of happiness.

For more information on ways to meet our own emotional needs, you might enjoy this article on Surviving a Depression with Your Smile Intact.

Affirmation
I take care of my own needs first, then generously give to others. I use my negative emotions as a clue to look for my own unmet needs.

Journal or Meditation Question
Where do I have unmet needs? Do I feel good about the person I am, or do I want to change? Do I feel loved, cared for, and like I belong to a group somewhere? Do I have the opportunity to use my strengths in the service of something larger than me? Do I get a chance to experience joy, love or wonder each day? Do I need to see to those needs first so I can be happier and more compassionate to others?

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